Tuesday, May 26, 2009

So Much, So Fast

I don't actually know how many people read this thing. I mean, I got the counter and everything but it really doesn't make much sense. I wonder if they just tell you that people read it to make you feel good. I'd be okay with that. I think sometimes thinking something is there and something being there in actuality yield the same result.

My life has been crazy town. It has. Another semester gone. Another girl that was the one, and then, for some reason unknown, wasn't the one anymore. Stress that once was acute seems obtuse. Reasons that seemed so profound have drifted into the common. Job offers, raises, debts, homework, tests, grades, all of it just seem to be the scenery on this road trip. If there is one thing I know its that I don't really know where I'm heading. I like the trip so far, the company, the surprises, the pit stops, but my destination is some kind of whisper. I wonder about a plan. An underlying purpose. I wonder about how I'm supposed to know, and once I know, whether I'm supposed to follow or run the other way. Sometimes it feels like a vacation and sometimes it feels like a very long day where you aren't getting overtime. But still the question of purpose. The question of why.

And sometimes I think that it may not matter in actuality.

I'll write more, I've just been busy.