Wednesday, May 28, 2008


According to Socrates, if you are to get out of the cave, someone has to drag you to the entrance. Kyle, you've done it.

Let's speak hypothetically for a second. Say that I had a girlfriend which I had broken up with and still had contact with. One night we joke and talk about making out, the joking goes too far, and the event happens. As happens probably 99% of the time, the girl wants to have a "talk" after and discuss "our future". This is where Kyle opened my eyes. The question posed, is it equally bad that the girl went over looking for emotional fulfillment through commitment when compared to the guy just looking for action. Kyle said yes, and I agree.

How I support Kyle is based on one axiom. Sneaky=Sneaky. Both parties were trying to deceive the other. The girl was going over hoping to somehow work out a deal of commitment to her, and the guy was hoping to somehow work out a deal to get a rise, while both hold this information from the other. I had never considered it like this before. The girl didn't want to be used for the guys fulfillment, but a guy doesn't want to be used for a girls emotional fulfillment either. I always thought the guy was the one to blame, but really, the sneaky girl is just as responsible. Yet the controversy seems to come when the friends find out that you hooked up with your old girlfriend. "Man, you were just looking for a piece weren't you?" My answer used to be, "Dude, I'm sorry, I thought she was cool with it." But now my answer, and I feel so liberated about it, is going to be, "Pshhh, that girl was just looking for a piece of commitment!"

Thanks Kyle, I feel the chains lifted. Now I can hook up with ex-girlfriends freely and blame it on them. Word.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

You're Welcome to Ask Questions...

I think it would be fun to open the blog to questions, you can ask anything you want, my opinion is far reaching. Just write your questions in the comments section of the previous answer and I'll answer as I see fit. Sweet!!!

The First...

Question: Hetero in Provo asked: A potential homosexual advanced on me a week or so ago and I am friends with all his friends and was becoming close friends with him, now I dont know how to treat him. I dont want to hurt his feelings but I'm not totally comfortable around him.
How do you ween off a gay?

Answer: Same way they told you to avoid drugs in 5th grade I figure. You've got the be direct approach. You've got the cold shoulder approach. You've got the provide an alternative approach, and one other. In our culture today, the gay movement is begging for respect and equality. I respect that equally. My view is that people should just live and, unless under threat of life or personal safety, let others live. If they desire respect and equality, then they usually have figured out that the only real way of obtaining it is to be respecting and equal themselves. If you feel like he is coming on too strong, use one of the 5th grade techniques, and he should respect it. If it doesn't work, be the first hetero to sue a homo for sexual harrassment, it will be a good precedent. Consider yourself answered.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Grass, Cookies, Cement, Disorientation

Kyle, oh Kyle, your comment about the flaw of absolute mathematics was so insightful. Life isn't algebraic, this is believed. You can't always balance both sides. Here is to you buddy...

I was thinking the other day, as I lay on the grass after a run, how just good life is. I thought about what made it that way. I think it was a cookie moment, you know, when you just say, "These are so good, what is in them?" Two ingredients. Simplicity is a key ingredient, but the bonding agent is just awareness.

If we were to make cement, that's what we would need, awareness of the beauty of simplicity. Follow me, the first thing that happens when things get dark is that I lose my bearings. Like when you've been laying in bed for a while and you have turned over so many times that you can't remember which wall you are facing, or where your door is. I hate that, I have to turn on the light. It runs parallel with life I think. The first thing that happens when the lights go off is that you lose your bearings, and then it gets worse as you try to get comfortable, then you can't remember how to get out. If we were just aware we would be fine. Simplicity is beautiful, and our awareness of it can be turning on the lights in our room. Kyle, I think you should just focus on the simple fact that your lungs work, that you are warm when you sleep, and that your stomach doesn't go ignored.

As long as you are aware of that, I think really which way you are facing won't matter as much.

Monday, May 12, 2008

My Grandpa has a Girlfriend

He's 87. Retired nuclear rocket physicist. Enjoys crossword puzzles and yelling at the TV. Is convinced the world is cooling, not warming, and enjoys long afternoons of solitaire on the computer. Has trouble with stairs and laundry, but makes up for it in dandelion pulling and taking the recycling to the curb. When it comes to food, he is a connoisseur of sweet pickle relish and steamed carrots.

I imagine this would be pretty close to the singles ad that my grandpa Billings must have posted to score this girlfriend of his. I think they've been dating for like five years. They usually stick to the basics, dinner and then he'll listen to her talk about her grand kids. I guess why I'm writing about this is because yesterday he walked in from his day long date with his girl and saw me sitting there and watching a limited commercial break version of Shakespeare in Love on Fox, my myself. He had the biggest grin; almost a century old and he's still got it going on, even more then the 23 year old. This guy goes on more dates then I do, this is a fact, but I'm not jealous, na, I am just hoping this is genetic.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Anger is Tough

I was pissed, seriously pissed. Wait, I don't get mad, I just get a mix of sad, frustrated and confused. With that said, I've never been so mixed up in my life. Come Tuesday morning, I wake up and I have to remind myself why I'm mad, I mean mixed. That's where I'll dwell today, why anger is tough.

I have a hard enough time remembering to brush my teeth and then to floss them. "Brush then floss, brush then floss." It's a constant rhyme that I repeat on my way to the sink. Yet I still fail. Now, let me present my anger side. I've realized that anger comes from the premise-You should have known better. I think that is why people get more angry with people that are closer to them, when compared to strangers, because people that are close to you have a greater capacity to know better. The reason they are closer to you is simply because you have developed a deeper pattern with them. You know their steps, you know their moves, you've developed a comfortable habit of interacting. With the mix of anger and habit, it seems to point to my first argument that anger is tough. Explained: Anger is tough because you have to constantly remind yourself that that person who you are close to is not in the groove that they have been in, they aren't the reason you love them anymore, they have broken the mold, and it's hard because they really are the same, it's just that you're mad because they should have known better. The whole thing gets better when they have shown they know, but then what do you do with your anger?

I guess I'll just waste it on a stranger like everyone else... I'll call ya later...

Monday, May 5, 2008

Grinding the Gears of My Five Speed Mind

Sometimes I take pride in how well my mind has been put together. Other times I'm smacking the dashboard begging it to start. I guess that's where I'm at; side of the road, rain on the windshield, trying to turn it over, not getting any closer to where I want to be.

She wanted answers when we were driving back. I just saw it differently. I thought she wasn't in any position to be asking questions. But if I were to identify where the switch from 5th to 2nd occured, I'd probably put it right around when she asked, "Are you going to give me a second chance?" I was reconsidering the first chance I had given her. I think anyone would if they went looking for their girl and only found her after opening the door and turning on the lights and giving them time to get out from under the blanket. Then the first thing she wants to know is if she gets a second chance.

I don't get mad, I don't. I just get a really confusing mix of sad, frustrated, and disappointed. I think it was the timing. Not enough clutch and too much gas. Or maybe the pitch of the hill we were on, just the wrong angles; my girl and my best friend. They say they didn't touch each other, but touching or not, the engine is still dead. Whatever it was, here I am, side of the road, rain on the windshield, tyring to turn it over, not getting any closer to where I want to be.

The Genesis of an Exodus

I've got a lot. A lot to share, a lot to hold back, a lot to get out, and a lot to hold in.