Sunday, April 18, 2010


Have I ever talked about my love of Kanye West? I think I have. I don't know why I like it so much, but I do. Wake up Mr. West, Mr. West. I like him. Kind of aggressive sometimes, kind of pretentious, but I forgive him.

So, I'm graduating. Two degrees: Philosophy and English. I don't know what I'm going to do. DC for a while. College was easy. It was like a long long walk. You get bored but don't have the guts to tell the people you're with that you want to go home. I guess I just always have felt too directed, too kept in the program. I want to know about all the things that make the theories fail, ya know? I've thought so many times about not paying tuition and just getting a library card. I'm pretty sure I'd get more out of the library card.

Though college has been boring, this time in my life has been nothing but exciting. Friends, girls, adventures, they've just been unstoppable. I think that when I leave my last day of class I'll be sad. Not cry or anything. Maybe just a big dose of reflection. I'm going to tell my kids to go to college just so they can think that there is a camera crew following them around trying to record what will happen next. That's really how it's been for me, and I'm thinking that's how it will be.

Maybe a little like Kanye West.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Health Care, Shmelth Care

So, I stopped reading the news, pretty much. I mean, I read the Haiti stuff, so crazy, and that place was crazy before. I hope it all works out. But I stopped watching the news cause of the lame-o health care debate. Boring, so boring. For all the people who say, "We're just helping the free-loaders", I say, are you just going to lock them out on the street? "Sorry, we just think that you're faking and cause you can't pay, we can't let you in." Maybe, I don't know, it sounds crazy I know, maybe hospitals aren't movie theaters. Maybe. Maybe if we shifted some of the cash from fighting the boogie man.

But why do we have to keep talking about it? People die in America everyday from guns. Thousands. But screw them, we aren't talking about that right now. We're talking about how Obama is a king and the Sarah Palin has come to redeem us, which is why this whole thing is so backward, because we aren't really talking about the locked-out bottom-feeders, we're talking about the Quiter from Alaska. She quit her job to move to the main land and annoy. Man, come on, why can't we talk about Mark Mcguire fooling everyone? Anyways, health care. I get the whole "too expensive" idea sure, I'm totally under the impression that it is a complete tragedy that people would make money off of another person's misfortune. Did I just use the word misfortune?

And what's this mess about doctors getting paid for every little thing they do? All the sudden people are to doctors what mechanics are to cars. And we all know how lousy mechanics are, most of the time, except for those guys at Old Fashion Service. It's a conflict of interest. I get the same amount of money regardless of how much work is in front of me, why are they so above me? That argument may be kind of flawed, since I make holes in paper for a job. The point is, why are we still blabbing about it? Don't we have a representative democracy so that we aren't burdened by the crap?

This sounds like a rant, but the point is, are we just getting distracted from more important things? Like how hot Lady Gaga is?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Hey Ya

I love that Outcast song. I heard it over the weekend, alright, alright, alright, alright... It never get's old... I am your neighbor.

I think I've lived in a pretty good musical age. My brother's got me into the Police and my sister Erin got me into the Cure. Those are good places to start. If you don't know the song "Lovecats" find it and fall in love. Then there was Pearl Jam and Sound Garden, the pansy rockiness of Oasis, Dave Matthews before he sucked, and so much Death Cab. So much Death Cab.

But really this blog is about snobs. People who expect you to know something you don't know. Blah. Those people suck man. I think it's a funny gig to expect people to be aware of something they're not aware of. I mean, awareness, isn't it just inherent in the meaning of awareness that you aren't aware of well, what you're not aware of? Maybe that's too tautological. But if you're still reading this blog, since I write so sporadically, you've probably already gotten my point. Tokyo Police Club is not a band everyone knows, neither is Bon Ivar (however you spell that). Those guys aren't the Beatles or Obama. Anyways...

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

305 C Street

They made me a receptionist at work. I cover the 3:45 to 6:00 shift. It's hectic. Very tide like. Constant, but definitely has sets of waves that kill me. I've grown in my respect of phone answers, they really do a lot.

Well, it was Friday night, a couple back, and I was just lounging, waiting for things to explode, and in walks this guy, Willy. I'd seen him once before. I helped him get to another floor to deliver flowers, so I figured he was back for the same kind of favor. Oh no, this time he was on a mission. He said, stuttering and staring at his feet, "Do you remember me?" "Yeah man, you deliver flowers." "Right, well, uh..., well, 305 C street." "Uh, what?" "305 C street." "I don't get it man." "I have a message from God." Pause. Longer pause. "You're serious? Well, come on, let's hear it." I was surprised that that was my first reaction to my first messenger. "You're supposed to go see a girl who lives at 305 C street." I was so stoked, I thought, "This is going on the blog for sure." I prodded Willy the Messenger a little bit, tried to get some stats on this "celestial" hook up. A height, maybe an opinion on her looks. He had nothing. I asked how he gotten the message, all of it a garbled mess. He left. Came back, started into why he needed to breed with a blond woman, and thankfully he left again. On the third heavenly visit, I felt pretty blasphemous but I had to say, "Will, bro, if you come back again, I'm going to have to call security."

He didn't come back. I tried to find 305 C street, nothing there.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Carabiner Keychains

The last couple of days I've spotted a funny phenomena: everyone seems to drop their keys. I drop my keys, and you know what? I drop my keys so much that the carabiner on my key chain is banged to bits. And there it is, the stupidity of having a carabiner on my key chain and never ever using it to prevent me from dropping my keys.

Then I saw somebody who did use their key chain carabiner. I thought to myself, "He understands the meaning of things. A smart man who doesn't let things go to waste. More than I can say about myself" I went on my way. Then I thought, "Man, maybe that guy just cares about his keys too much." What the crap do I care about how many times in a day I've dropped my keys? Or how banged up my carabiner is? Everytime I see somebody drop their keys and can spot a carabiner on their key chain, I don't think, "You moron, you should have put that thing around something." Na, it's more like, "Dude, me and that sucker who was about to get in that beemer have something in common: not using our carabiners."

It's forced me to think a little bit more on how much I put people above me, or below me. If I just spent my time leveling with people then the world would be a little better I think. I guess it all revolves around the fact that Everyone (the capital E is to draw emphasis to the general claim I'm making) drops their keys, Everyone. There are some that want to escape it and actually put the carabiner around something, but really, they're just suckers who drop their keys more than everyone else. I just think if we could see other people's little flaws as things that could bring us together, than the world might not be so terrible.

Boo ya.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Bullbumps Again

I have something to say about guys and movies. I really didn't notice it until I was watching that chick flick with J-stone, but it's the odd anomaly of the "safety seat". Yeah, safety seat. Defined: The seat that two men keep between themselves when sitting in an uncrowded theater. I guess it's just funny because it took me so long to notice it. I mean, how long has the safety seat been there and I not know it? And if it was there all along, why did I notice now?

I wonder how many things in our lives go perfectly unnoticed for 24 years. I wonder what the next thing will be? It's an interesting thought to try and be aware of things that you aren't aware of. Is this blog putting you to sleep? Alright, I'll get to the point. The point is that I also didn't know about Rhode Island, yep, I remember how amazed I was when I realized it wasn't an island. Who knew? I don't know.

I guess it more has to do with handing out doubt benefits on the basis of, "Dude, I didn't know about the safety seat for 24 years, maybe this person just doesn't know."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Bones Ache, I Feel Cold

So I went to this get together tonight. People everywhere. All pretty entertaining. But I noticed something that I thought was funny, I'm getting old. No, seriously. Everything that used to be good about these events seemed so dismal, so trite, so lame. I didn't really know where the feelings had come from. I mean, I'd been to these beginning of the semester meet-girls type of events before, but tonight, man, I just wasn't feeling it.

I think it has to do with what has happened between the last beginning of the year and this beginning of the year. I feel different about my approach, because I realized that my approach was really, really pathetic. I feel differently about the follow through, only because I saw that nothing was going in the hoop. Tonight, I felt like I had seen the light and was now observing, pleasantly, mind you, others running around in the dark. Watching guys go for girls that were way out of their league, like not even in the same sport. Watching girls sneak glances for immensely too long. I even saw a failed attempt at the old, "Hey, I'm going to act like I didn't see that girl there and then introduce myself after I practically tackle her." Seriously man? People are so rad. They're good in every way, at least when it comes to cheap entertainment. Just put them together and let them go, and the story always seems to be incredible.

But my awareness remember, was that I was getting old, out of touch. I looked around and I was the one guy, me and my wing man Ben of course, we were the two guys not approaching girls. We were the ones looking too cool with our arms folded just talking to ourselves. I asked myself, "Have I become too old for this?" And sadly, if the answer is yes, where do I go next?